Thursday, September 11, 2008

Who does this corporeal life benefit?

Originally posted Thursday, April 13, 2006

me? someone else? both?

here's my take.

sometimes someone is born into this world not for his or her benefit but to fulfil the needs of another. for example, those sweet spirits who were stillborn or, like my five children who only survived in the womb for the first 10 weeks before leaving, might be classified as one of these giving souls. such short lives did not benefit my children (i think), but they did have a substantial impact on me. i also believe the 14th Dalai Lama is such a person. he is not here to learn, but to teach. to assist. to help influence mankind toward a more harmonious existence.

i have a debilitating illness: fibromyalgia (FMS), sister to lupus and chronic fatigue. i have good days and i have bad days. but i do understand that my life was staged - by me - before i was born. i chose my parents to set that stage. their genetics, the environment they lived in, family dynamics were all factors. i may or may not have developed the FMS depending on the choices i made as i matured. but somewhere along the line in this corporeal existence, i missed what i was supposed to understand so the FMS kicked in. me - as sunni - i never would have voluntarily chosen this dis-ease. but Me - as my eternal Self - i factored this into this lifetime to accomplish something.

what? and for whom?

well, over the last decade i've slowed down a lot. this dis-ease has allowed me to see things from a different perspective. it has taught me i can be in so much pain i cry and yet i can still be in a good mood and thankful for everything around me. this dis-ease has also helped me to help others understand they should not feel guilty when they can no longer do those things they used to do because FMS - or plug in whatever they may have - really does make it impossible. that they are not being lazy, they really can't get up and go anymore. this dis-ease has also helped my wife to become more tolerant and to live more in the Now. she laughs more and we play more, albeit more quietly than we did as younger women. i have learned with this dis-ease to give myself permission to put something off until tomorrow and to seize the day when i have the energy.

those are the little things. i cannot even begin to explain how both my wife and i have grown spiritually because of my dis-ease. i have learned that this dis-ease is here for a reason and, quite surprisingly, it is more for the benefit of others than for me, i think. i have learned it is just as blessed to receive as it is to give. it is important to empower others by allowing them to do for me. which, by the way, means i am actually giving them something by allowing them to give to me. i have learned to take delight in gifts from others without guilt or embarrassment because it also pleases the giver and makes them a better person as well. i've learned that by simply doing what i can and existing with the joy of life i have learned, that i touch others' lives and have a positive impact on them. just because i live and breathe.

now, in my belief system, we are One with everything. what i do to me i do to you. if i am unkind to someone, i cause them harm. by doing so, i also cause harm to the cosmos, to the flowers, to the fish at the bottom of the sea, to the murderer, to the woman with seven HIV positive children in africa, to the asteroids circling our galaxy and right on to everything that exists. this ripple of negativity changes the overall "tone" of this pool of Oneness. so when i apologize and rectify my unkindness, love, relief and happiness are fed into this pool of Oneness and once again changes the "tone." what does this have to do with who benefits from my pain-riddled existence? everything.

because we are One, we choose to live on this planet in one of the millions of life forms available so All can learn and grow and understand. in this body, i have learned i cannot truly understand the joys of warmth unless i experienced being miserably cold. i learned, thru that of yin and yan. how dark and light are opposite sides of the same coin. how love and hate, laughter and tears are both necessary to truly understand the Love we are all a part of when we listen closely enough to consciously connect with our Oneness. because we are corporeal, what we learn, whether it is hideous violence or deep happiness, it is all factored and absorbed for the betterment of the Whole, the One, the All. the seperateness we embody in these life forms is essential to the learning experience and is no illusion to me. in my opinion, there is no illusion at all either in this life form, on another plane or after the death of this corporeal being. it is all real. the very essence of seperateness these bodies give us is what draws us to these lives in the first place. by embracing our senses, the perceptions of this corporeal existence and combining that with an earnest search for manifesting love and Love in each short lifetime we help not only ourselves but everyone and everything. in truth, we really are our brothers' keeper.

so. who does this corporeal life benefit? me. you. the bugs. this world. the universe. The One.

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